Farewell
by rcf1989
Summary: After a murder attempt gone wrong, Brenda must leave everything behind and start a new life... Or does she?


**A/N. Eternal gratitude to Hayley for being my beta. Also this is my shot at the series finale, which in case you don't know will air in Summer 2012. And as a Brenda/Sharon shipper this could be a nice end. Also, the ending is opened so everyone is free to believe/choose what happens. Also, keep in mind the following: _ Season 7 premiere, and probably the first half of said season as one of the main plots is mentioned._**

* * *

><p>It was the last day she was ever going to walk out of the Murder Room, or better said the last time she'd ever do it. If someone would've told her seven years ago that her final days spent with the Los Angeles Police Department would be nothing short of chaotic, she would've called them a liar. It wasn't supposed to end like this, not after everything she'd sacrificed for her career, not after she'd proved there wasn't anything she couldn't survive: civil suits and department reorganizations alike.<p>

Brenda wasn't blind, she knew exactly the kind of embarrassment that was brought to the department following the disaster of a lawsuit filed by Turell Baylor's mother; she also knew that she had been thrown to the wolves by everyone but her own division, but there was not one ounce of regret within her. Her fellow officers wanted to see her burn, but Brenda would rather die than ever let herself become a scapegoat for a group of cowards.

Losing the suit did not affect her in the slightest. There was no remorse as she took the stand, for to say that she had any misgivings about what happened would've been a lie under oath. She made it perfectly clear she was only following the terms that Mrs. Baylor's son had agreed to and nothing more; she was not responsible for what happened after he was released from police custody. It was quite easy to justify it: a man who murdered two defenseless people, one of them a child, didn't deserve to continue walking around freely.

Her testimony was that Turell had been nothing but a coward and Brenda saw nothing problematic about the fact that another gangster was off the street, never to see the light of day or harm another person again. Her conscience was cleared in the defense that it was not her fault, that she only used the law to her advantage and she would never accept Turell's blood on her hands. The days following the conclusion of the lawsuit had been a blur, from receiving word of a suspension pending further punishment to the added embarrassment of every single case she'd closed being called into question by her superior officers.

It was time for her to move on, after she had accepted she had no choice if she wanted to survive and have a normal life, not worrying about the smallest noise in the middle of the night wondering if it was just Joel pacing around a room or, in the case of her worst nightmare, the same hitman that was hired by a gang to kill her earlier that month and that ended up with her husband dead to protect her. And that had been her darkest hour, as she was forced to watch her husband bleed to death in her arms. That was it for her, with each minute that ticked by without any sign of help, with each breath Fritz struggled to take as she whispered that she loved him and it would all be over soon. The paramedics showed up too late and as Fritz slipped away she bid him goodbye; the moment she was left alone in her house with her clothes soaked in her husband's blood was when she knew she was out for good.

They had been fighting heavily over the past few months, actually ever since that lawsuit against her, her squad and he LAPD as well as the city started. She knew he loved her, and a part of her still loved him but when he died she felt nothing. She cared, and she cried, but not nearly as much as she'd ever imagined she would just feel like a little emptiness inside her had grown and at times it almost scared her how little she cared about the aftermath. And, yet, that was not the worse part of all, losing her job to keep her skin was the most horrible piece of news she heard, as the only way to guarantee her safety was leaving town and entering WITSEC. And she would not only lose her job, but her family, co-workers and friends she could count with just a hand.

A week had passed since the offer had been made until Brenda made up her mind. Papers were drawn up, her new identity was created and within a week's time she would be leaving California. At times she saw it like an easy route, a chance of starting over with the high price of losing and leaving it all behind, all she had fought and learned just to keep living; it scared her because she had to start over by herself. But staying scared her more because it could then mean that everyone she knew was in danger, just like Fritz's dead taught her. After making her choice, followed by a fight with WIll about her living but understanding and respecting her decission in the end, mostly because during that argument she handed him her resignation so he'd get she was serious, Brenda then took a few days off to visit her family in Atlanta. The news weren't well recieved, they knew about what had taken place but they never imaged it'd have such consequences for Brenda; as expected, the ones who took it the worse possible way were her parents but thankfully after long talks, and a lot of shed tears as well, they understood why Brenda had made that choice which in her case didn't have to be permanent as after agreeing to take part in the project, she was assured that as soon as the hitman was found and the gang disolved she could return to her previous life, even if she got no certainty in or if that'd happen.

And that brought her to where she was now, back to the place she worked at for over seven years and survived a building change, and she still hated the new facility. Still, there she was addressing her squad for the last time, thanking them for all their hard work and, in a way, becoming part of her family. They all knew who was going to be her replacement, the one person they all thought was going to ruin their lives was the very same who had saved their jobs doing hers and that was what made the squad change their mind about one Captain Raydor, now Deputy Chief Raydor who had been notified that very same morning about her promotion and was at a meeting with Chief Delk discussing the matter; it came as a surprise to no one when Sharon Raydor's name made it to the top of her list, except for Sharon as she hadn't expected it. Even if she hadn't personally been vying for the position, there was no doubt in Brenda's mind that Sharon was the one who could carry on her legacy while restoring prestige to the department and gain back the trust of the community that had been lost long ago.

After finishing her speech, Brenda didn't trust herself not to break down in front of her squad, so she did what she had become a habit over the past seven years and locked herself in her now former office. She had removed all her belongings except for most of the candy in the first drawer on the desk which she took advantage of and grabbed a pack of M&M's but was soon interrumpted as the side door flew open and shortly after slammed; she didn't need to turn to know who it was.

"When were you going to tell me you're leaving? In the case you were going to tell me, anyway." Sharon said, and in her tone it was clear the disappointment to be the last to know.

"Capt... I mean, Chief Raydor, I..." Brenda started but stopped as soon as Sharon raised her hand.

"Save all your formalities for another day, Brenda. I shouldn't have had to find out from Chief Delk, of all people. You pushed this promotion off on me, and then thought you could just disappear?"

"What?" The blonde was shocked at the accusations. " It wasn't like I was just going to sneak off into the night. I just... I just didn't know how to tell you... Or how to say... Goodbye."

"It really isn't goodbye if what I heard is true."

"That I can always come back they catch my husband's killer and disolve the gang he's associated with?" The newly promoted Chief nodded. "It is true but only with that condition, which is looking at this point like it would be easier to find a needle in a haystack. I'm losing everything, Sharon. My job, my life, my family...so please, if you've come here to tell me how selfish it is that I'm leaving, believe me, I already know."

Sitting down in her old chair, Brenda then remembered it was no longer her place and was going to stood up but seeing the smirk on the brunette's features she knew she was allowed to. Over the past year they reached an understanding to the point they didn't have to say anything to know what the other was thinking, they could tell with just a look, and that was the main reason why they were close friends.

Minutes passed, in silence except they were interrumpted by the blonde trying to open the M&M's pack and then eating them, even Sharon took a few at times.

"Where are they sending you?" Sharon finally asked, unable to keep the curiosity to herself even if she already knew the answer.

"Des Moines. Oklahoma City, maybe. Savannah...all options are on the table, but you know I couldn't tell you if I knew anyway." It was for Sharon's own protection that she was kept in the dark, same with anyone else from her squad that she was close to. She couldn't take the risk of anyone knowing.

"You know, I'll make sure that drawer's always filled with candy and chocolate treats for as long as I work here." Sharon was pointing at the top drawer as she said so. "You never know what may happen."

"Never thought you'd have a soft spot for my cravings."

"Oh, please, you know I'm a softie deep down."

And then, before she could stop heself, Brenda blurted out what she had been trying to say but didn't come out the way she really wanted to, even if it was plain obvious.

"I'm going to miss you, a lot."

"Are you going to miss me or fighting with me?"

"For heaven sake don't make it harder than it already is, Sharon."

"This isn't easy for me either, so excuse me for making jokes to make it more bearable."

"What do you mean?"

"You're the one leaving, and I understand why but that doesn't mean I like it."

"You don't have to like it."

"And I won't like it. But it is hard, now that we really get along and yet the hardest will be coming home."

"Why?" Brenda was confused as to why that was going to be the worse part of all.

"Because, as it seems you're completely oblivious, my kids are smitten with you."

"The-they are? But if they met me six months ago; I'm just about the last person they should be smitten with."

"And yet you have them wrapped around your little finger. Southern charm and candy, you don't know what that can do to teenagers."

"What about you?" Brenda asked as she stood from the leather chair and walked up to Sharon, right into her personal space.

"What do you mean?"

"Do I have you wrapped around my finger?" She was now standing on her toes, as she was wearing flats and as the brunette was wearing heels their height difference was more than obvious. "Did my southern charm work on you?"

And before she could give Sharon any chance to answer her questions, Brenda pressed her lips against hers. Pulling back after a few seconds, the blonde observed the brunette's reaction: her eyes were closed and she was smiling sheepishly, and when she finally opened her eyes what Brenda saw in those captivating green orbs broke all her resolve to make her final confession before her departure; leaning again, this time to whisper in Sharon's ear, Brenda finally spoke the three words she had been scared of saying out loud to her until that moment.

"I love you."

She was aware of the bomb she just dropped, and even more so of the timing but she knew it had to be said or she'd regret it for the rest of her life; it was cruel in many ways, but she believed Sharon had the right to know that she was loved. And just like that Brenda walked out of the office leaving a stunned Sharon behind, but not for long as when she was mid-stroll in the Muder Room she was stopped by her now former squad. She had said goodbye to them, but they hadn't done it yet for her and that was their time and she allowed them to do so. It didn't take long, but it had been enough to get her emotional over it all and she started to tear up but little did she know she was the only one tearing up, if not crying as when she had left her former office Sharon started to cry silently as she sat down on the edge of her new desk.

Several ideas were running through her mind, but the most prominent of them all was not letting Brenda go just like that, because if she did she'd regret it if she didn't have a chance like that again. It was all lost already, so there was no reason to actually stop her. And so, the brunette made her way out of her office right in time as Brenda was leaving for once and for all; quickening her steps, once she was close enough, she reached out for one of her arms with her hand and pulled her to her, spinning her around in the process, and not giving time for her to recover Sharon leaned down to claim the blonde's lips in a passionate kiss. With an arm wrapped around the blonde's waist and her other hand burried in soft blonde curls, she gave all she had in her until she had to pull back as she was breathless just as Brenda was panting.

"To answer your questions... Yes, to both of them." Sharon said between breaths. "And I love you, too."

Finally, Brenda looked up to see the smeared mascara down her cheeks as well as her puffy red eyes.

"You've been crying." She stated, her heart breaking at the sight before her.

"How could I not when I'm about to lose you? You told me what I wanted to hear for months and then you do when you're walking away, how do you think I feel?"

"Terribly sad and broken but happy because you're loved. I feel the same."

Removing her hand from Brenda's hair, Sharon gently caressed her cheek as she looked down at her.

"There has to be some other way..."

"What way, Sharon? If I stay I put everyone in danger..."

"And if you leave you'll be alone and we all will miss you. And you're not even sure they'll go after you again, we know who they are and they know we're after them."

"So what are you suggesting here?"

"Either way, I'm with you. I can't let you go, I'm sorry but I can't."

"But you know I'm lea... Wait, wait, you're saying you... Want to come with me? Leave it all and come with me? And your kids?"

"They'd come with us."

"But I can't ask you to leave it all behind for me."

"You didn't, I'm telling you I will if you let me go with you. We love each other, Brenda. And we deserve to be happy, why can't we just try?"

"And if doesn't work?"

"And if it works? We won't know if we don't try."

"You're so stubborn. I'm leaving tomorrow morning, but I'll call you tonight. If I stay..."

"You'll have your job back, don't worry about it."

Brenda smiled at that thought. "But if I leave, you won't really have time to say goodbye to anyone."

"I doubt anyone in town will miss me, and we'd have the children with us. As for my family I'll call them."

Nodding in agreement, Brenda leaned up again to press a chaste kiss to Sharon's lips and then untangled herself from her arms. With the promise to call her that night, the blonde left the room and the brunette then came back to reality, finally taking notice of all the eyes on her, so she turned to face them.

"What are you all looking at? Get back to work!"

And having said that, she marched back to her office. She had paperwork to catch up on, and it wasn't even hers, it was all the undone stuff Brenda had left behind. It was ironic she had the blonde in her mind again, considering she was trying to keep herself busy to stop thinking about her and her decission, and yet she couldn't help it doing something she had come to witness every so often: reaching for a ding dong in the top drawer of the desk. Maybe not all the little traditions left in the blonde's wake would disappear completely, because if the saying was true, Sharon knew it applied to this situation: old habits did really die hard.


End file.
